Growing up is hard.
Insanely hard.
Which makes sense.
Because this is life - and nobody gets out alive.
But I know it can be done.
and there are days when I know I can do it.
Still.
There are days like today.
Where I can't even bring myself to get out of bed, or look into the mirror, or be around people.
Because I feel like I'm not good enough.
Because I'm ugly. or stupid. or fat. or unlovable.
and I know it's not true. but I can't convince myself otherwise.
Because I feel like I should have more figured out.
I'm 21.
Shouldn't I have at least an idea of what it is I want?
But I just don't.
I just don't.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that you feel this way :( I'm 24 and I remember feeling this way when I was in between 18-22. Even sometimes now I feel this way, though I do have some idea of what I want to do...
You should give yourself more credit. Growing up IS hard, but what makes even harder is the pressures of society to "do something with your life". Looking back, I feel like it's such an unnecessary pressure. I think people should be able to take time to explore different things, and not have to jump into a career and "life" until they're at least 25. Try not to think of your life in terms of time, but in terms of desires. Latch onto the things that interest you and make you feel inspired. Even if at times you think they are stupid and pointless and "unrealistic". Push the things out of your life that cause anxiety and stress (though, of course, sometimes this can be harder than just said). The world is full of possibilities and so are you. You just have to seize them.
If you want to chat, you can email me: thesofisticate [at!] gmail [dot!] com
good luck dear,
xox